


These Streets

by thebriars



Series: Eleven Voices [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M, Song Lyrics, oh well, series?, this is crap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-19 23:49:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11324259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebriars/pseuds/thebriars
Summary: Based on "These Streets" by Bastille.Alex reflects on his recent breakup.





	These Streets

**Author's Note:**

> ok ok ok DISCLAIMER
> 
> I do NOT own the lyrics (in italics) or the song. It all belongs to the amazing Bastille, who you should really really reaaaaaally check out. This is merely me applying the wonderful Hamilton to the song. <3
> 
> welp 
> 
> lets go

_These streets are yours, you can keep them._

Alex wandered along Broadway, his feet dragging and his face upturned to the gray clouds hanging over New York. He was normally a whirlwind of movement, a hurricane, but lately he felt like an unnaturally still summer evening, rife with humidity and secretive looks.

 

_I don’t want them._

 

Part of Alex longed to be back in Nevis, back where he felt like he could mean something. He had been brilliant there. Here, he was just another number added to the legions of fellow hopefuls who thought that they could impact the world.

 

_They pull me back and I surrender_

_To the memories I run from._

He tried not to recall his mother’s pale face or her cold hands. He tried not to see his cousin’s blood trickling through the ruts in the floorboards. He tried not to feel the sting of his father’s receding shadow. He tried not to feel the wind buffering the side of the house or hear the booming thunder.

 

_Oh, we have paved these streets_

_With moments of defeat._

The weight of the world seemed to rest on Alex’s shoulders, and he didn’t want to carry it anymore.

 

_But even if we won’t admit it to ourselves_

_We’ll walk upon these streets and think of little else._

 

The city climbed into the sky, reaching farther than Alexander ever could. He slipped into an alleyway and slunk against the wall, his head buried in his hands.

He tried. He really did.

 

_So, I won’t show my face here anymore._

_Oh, I won’t show my face here anymore._

 

He’d go home. He’d return to his laptop and write it out. Maybe he’d never get where he wanted to go, but by God, Alexander Hamilton wouldn’t ever stop.

 

_These streets are yours, you can keep them._

John could have this city. This city wasn’t for Alex, who was too much for even it to contain.

 

_In my mind, it’s like you haunt them._

Alex couldn’t pass a corner coffee shop or a theatre without remembering John. He’d taste the caramel mocha on his lips or see the laughter on John’s face as the comedian cracked a joke.

 

_And passing through, I think I see you_

_In the shapes of other women._

Was that the curly ponytail disappearing around the bend? Was that a freckled face in the taxi window? Was that a pair of golden eyes at the counter of the diner?

Maybe, but it was never the eyes Alex wanted to see again.

He shook his head.

 

_Oh, we have stained these walls_

_With our mistakes and flaws._

It was his fault. It was entirely his fault. John had nothing to do with it. Alex had fucked up big time, and he knew it.

 

_But even if we won’t admit it to ourselves_

_We’ll walk upon these streets and think of little else._

He had ended it. He had broken John’s heart, and broken his own. Alex would never get the image of tears budding in John’s eyes out of his mind. He could never not hear the ice-cold voice telling him to get out.

 

_All that’s left behind_

_Is a shadow on my mind._

John was an ingrained part of Alexander now. He could never shake the memories or the pain.

 

_A shadow cast upon the wall;_

_A silhouette and nothing more._

_That is all that’s left behind._

But it wasn’t really him. The memories were nothing but a shell, a hollow imprint or half-finished sculpture of the real John, who was so full of life. Alex had made his choice. He had succumbed to the little voice in the back of his mind that said he wasn’t good enough for someone as wonderful as John.

 

_But even if we won’t admit it to ourselves_

_We’ll walk upon these streets and think of little else._

Even though he tried to push the memories of John away, they crept back.

 

_So, I won’t show my face here anymore._

_Oh, I won’t show my face here anymore._

Alex pulled his hood down lower and hunched in his hoodie. He wasn’t much anymore. He was only the guy who had broken John Laurens' heart.

 

_I won’t show my face here anymore._

_I won’t show my face here anymore._

**Author's Note:**

> might make this a series because pretty much every song I hear can be applied to hamilton characters


End file.
